Feature Spotlight
For Biancco Gardner, 32, becoming a father was never a question of “if” but “how.” The Atlanta-based program manager and construction company owner recently welcomed his five-month-old daughter, Bianca, through traditional surrogacy. As a single gay dad, Gardner saw this as his second chance at fatherhood after missing a previous opportunity.
Gardner is set to join hundreds of other gay dads and prospective parents at the Men Having Babies (MHB) conference at the W Hotel in downtown Atlanta from February 21-23. The conference, one of seven held annually by MHB worldwide, covers surrogacy basics, including medical, legal, ethical, and financial aspects, along with the latest developments and resources.
After realizing marriage wasn’t on his immediate horizon, Gardner made the bold decision to pursue fatherhood on his own. “Do I feel like I can get married between this year and next year? Probably not,” he shared. “I’m just gonna go for it.”
Gardner’s journey began with two months of intense research. His dream of fatherhood was supported by a network of Black women in his life who actively participated in making it a reality. He wanted his child to know their surrogate parent, so he sought someone he already knew. The perfect match came through his best friend’s cousin, who agreed to be his surrogate.
Gardner chose an independent surrogacy journey, matching with his surrogate and navigating the legal process without an agency, which significantly reduced costs. He also utilized a surrogacy insurance plan to manage expenses. “The prices are astronomical,” Gardner noted. “The agencies are there to help you, but you can do it without an agency.”
Thankfully, MHB offers three financial assistance programs for its members to decrease the surrogacy price tag—Gay Parents Assistance Program (GPAP 1), which prospective parents can use for up to 30% off of IVF clinic services for specific providers; GPAP 2, a pro bono offer extended by specific providers, of which only a certain number are given during the year, and additional member discounts for specific providers through MHB’s Membership Discount Program, which is explained in detail during the conference.
“People can find creative ways to help out their surrogate,” Gardner said. “I paid for all the stuff. That way, she could just be comfortable because I knew I could do it. I’d been saving for a while, and it all worked out. My company at the time gave me $14k in assistance as well, so I didn’t have to take out a loan or a home equity line of credit.”
If there is a downside to surrogacy, Gardner reveals it’s the constant fear his surrogate would change her mind and he’d find himself back at square one. Three months after Bianca’s birth, Gardner and the surrogate created a legal agreement that relinquished her of any parental rights. Still, he says it’s important that his daughter is connected to the surrogate’s side of her family.
Gardner’s inspiring story highlights the evolving paths to fatherhood for gay men and the importance of community and perseverance in the journey to parenthood.
Men Having Babies conference will be held at the W Hotel (45 Ivan Allen Jr Blvd) in Atlanta, GA, from February 21 to 23, 2025. You can view the agenda and register to attend here.
Sourced: via GLAAD